Life and the Discipline of Denial
By Oluwole Solanke (PhD, FCIB)
Life is a journey of choices. Every day, we are faced with opportunities, temptations, and decisions that shape who we become. One of the greatest secrets to a meaningful and successful life is the discipline of denial—the ability to say “no” to certain desires today in order to say a greater “yes” tomorrow.
Denial is not about deprivation; it is about direction. It is the art of resisting short-term gratification for the sake of long-term fulfillment. As Aristotle once said, “What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do.” This truth reminds us that true strength is not in indulgence but in restraint.
Why Denial is Necessary in Life
1. Shaping Character
Character is not built by always giving in to what feels good but by disciplining the will. As the Bible puts it in 1 Corinthians 9:27: “I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
2. Focusing on Priorities
Denial helps us stay focused. Saying no to distractions means saying yes to purpose. As Steve Jobs once remarked, “Focusing is about saying no.”
3. Guarding Against Regret
Many regrets in life come from moments where people lacked the discipline to deny themselves. Temporary pleasures can leave permanent scars, but disciplined denial preserves dignity and destiny.
4. Strengthening the Spirit
Fasting, patience, and endurance are all forms of denial that strengthen our inner man. When you can deny yourself, you are truly free.
Examples in Everyday Life
The student who denies themselves endless parties in order to study eventually enjoys the reward of success.
The couple who denies selfish pride in marriage enjoys lasting peace and love.
The leader who denies greed and corruption leaves a legacy of honor.
The believer who denies sin and temptation grows closer to God.
The Reward of Denial
Every act of denial is an investment. The man or woman who can say “not now” often enjoys “much later.” As Napoleon Hill wisely noted, “The person who does not master self will be mastered by others.” Mastery begins with denial.
Ultimately, the discipline of denial leads to freedom, clarity, and fulfillment. It allows us to live not just for the moment but for meaning.
Conclusion
Life will always test our discipline. The question is: can we resist the immediate in order to embrace the ultimate? As Jesus Himself taught in Matthew 16:24: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
The discipline of denial is not a burden but a blessing. It is the secret ingredient behind success, integrity, and spiritual growth. So, dare to say no to the lesser today so you can say yes to the greater tomorrow.
